Cultivating Trust With One-on-One Time


>>Cantor: Stress will make it
very difficult for children to pay attention, to focus and to learn. But there is a powerful antidote
to stress and that is the effect of the human relationship
and the presence of trust.>>One-on-one time is a great opportunity
for a child to have with an adult where they can feel seen,
known, soothed, cared about and open up the brain to learning.>>Whetzel: Hey, Kumari, how’s it going?>>Khamari: Good.>>Whetzel: How are you at Uno?
>>Khamari: Better than you.>>Whetzel: Okay, we’re about to find
out. Does that mean you get to go first?>>Roger Sapp: Generally, a
student who just needs a little bit of extra support will be identified
by the student support team. They will identify a really good time
that’s non-academic, usually lunch time or snack, where the student
can spend some one-on-one time.>>Whetzel: Who wins at home?
>>Khamari: Me.>>Whetzel: Are you sure? Your
mom’s pretty competitive.>>I have Kumari, who I meet
with typically during lunch. He can just sit and talk
to me about his family, play a quick game, or play an activity.>>Sapp: Talking about life, just kind of getting their mind off
whatever’s bothering them that day. It really is whatever the student wants.>>Whetzel: What are you
doing this weekend?>>Khamari: I got a football game.>>Whetzel: Uno.>>Khamari: Like, we’ll talk
about like football and, like, personal stuff about our life.>>Sapp: A really important piece of non-contingent time is
that it’s always there. What our students crave the most
is predictability by the adults who are interacting with them and, so,
the non-contingent time is not dependent on behavior, because sometimes when
a student is having a hardest day is when they need that non-contingent
time the most.>>What did mom say?>>Student: “Good job.”>>Cantor: Finding time with a child
who might be struggling in some way and saying to yourself, “I’m going
to meet with that child every day and it’s not going to be a
reward for something good. It’s not going to be withheld
if something bad happens, but what it will be is consistent.” That is the factor that
builds trust and connection between a student and a teacher.>>Whetzel: How do I know it’s working? I know it’s working academically,
his grades have gone up, he spends more time in the classroom. In terms of emotional impact
with Khamari, he’s more willing to communicate when there’s a problem.>>Khamari: I feel less stress,
because I could control my anger. Like, when I get very mad,
I know how to calm it down.>>Whetzel: When kids feel like they can
trust you, when they can share things that are going on in their personal
lives, they’re more willing to come to school relaxed like, “This is a safe
place where I know I’m going to be okay and I can focus on learning.” And so when they’re more attentive
in the classroom their grades go up.

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