You suck at cooking yeah, you totally suck. There’s a lot to like about carrots. They’re aerodynamic They’re hydrodynamic They’re ground dynamic and they’re a friend to plants and animals everywhere They make a great first class lever an excellent second class lever but they’re garbage as a third class lever They’re also one of the stabbiest vegetables on the planet HUUAH! Take that paper HUUAH! Take that wall HUUAH! take that you no good flimsy piece of tin… Can… that… is really useful The only other vegetable that’s more dangerous is the parshiv. Ow- ow-w! Ahh yeah *the sound of wind chimes*
Carrots also have very unique acoustical properties They’re completely silent when blowing in the wind Guess what else? You can eat these things. So we’re gonna take these and we’re gonna put them in the water right? *audience* WRONG! And why aren’t we gonna do that? *audience* BECAUSE BAKING IS BETTER THAN BOILING That’s right, now you say it Great, we’re not putting them in hot water because we don’t want to suck out a bunch of the nutrients and flavor, do we? *audience* NO Good! Now let’s get this puppy warmed up *audience* OK *car engine sputtering* Aw come on! It’s like every couple months, I gotta… *sparks* *engine starts* Ondo’s on 4 hundo
(400°F / 200°C) And it’s silent because it’s uh… electric We’re just gonna give these a quick rinse then wrap them in swaddling clothes and lay them in a pan We’re gonna drizzle some olive oil on the daggers and then some salt, a bit of Triple P and a little bit of honey, don’t go crazy! the reason honey works so well on carrots is because carrots contain a little bit of sugar so when you add an external sugar source it cancels out and then you end up with sugar free carrots I’m pretty sure… Don’t forget to both cross wrassle and side wrassle to make sure they’re evenly coated maybe it’ll be a little more comfortable if we put them in the sixty-n– uh The head to toe position If you don’t have these small carrots, and you only have the big-ass ones, there’s an easy solution Take them out to the barn Grab your best carving knife and whittle them down to the size God intended carrots to be No bigger No smaller Just right Walk the land Check the trees Think about Judy Wonder what life would have been like had you been a better man *exaggerated thud* You can also just take a big ass carrot and smash it against the wall and if you only have these super baby carrots you can Compress them with your hands until you get one biblically correct size carrot if you and another person are cooking honey roasted carrots in the same onion on the same day at the same time just use your wood burner to make your carrots distinguishable with unique symbols So I had these things in for 25 minutes. I’m just gonna check them with a fork Well, I was gonna rassle them and get the other side charred, but these puppies are done These ones turned out pretty good, too Notice the variety of colors *guitar fading in*
Admire the sheen, feel the warmth, absorb the essence, be mystified by their very existence Bask in the glory of the honey roasted carrot *song begins* If you got a carrot then make sure to share it you don’t want to make your friend mad end up despairing oh when you see ’em comin’ just shove ’em in the onion get a hot stock cookin’ till the honey is a-runnin’ if you got carrots your life has merit if you’re without, don’t just grin and bear it sneak up to the garden and try not to scare it if you’re quiet and you’re lucky then you’ll stare at all the carrots Carrots are yum- -my inside your digestive system you can eat them daily but just once in a while it’s all up to you! You should really like, and subscribe. Yeah, like and subscribe.